Some of the best things I learned from Cheryl Richardson as my coach were these three things:
1. Think big (cast the dream, create the vision, set the intention)
2. Admit your weaknesses (reality check, honor where you are and are not)
3. Watch for early signs of failing/trouble (early warning signs prevent disaster later on, avoiding denial, breakthrough empowerment happens with early intervention).
Now, if we were to translate these three principles and commands to your sex life, what do you think that would be like?

As we approach the year’s end, and celebrate whichever religious holiday is your choice (or none, if that’s your choice) we are reminded to get into the spirit of giving. Is your head reeling with visions of sugarplums, twinkling colored icicle lights all over the front of your house, little men with white beards who make toys in a faraway attic, or the smell of reindeer poop on your roof? How about 8 days of giving/getting presents and lighting tiny candles on a funny stand?

[This is an activity that really happened. The power of ritual is palpable. You can find tips on how to incorporate ritual into your life and lovemaking at the end of this story.]

I have a client who is very open to experimentation for his healing. He is one of those rare types who will literally try anything, and he almost has! When he came to see me for sex coaching, he told me he was desperate and would give it one more shot. Not only was he not having sex with partners, but felt lonely, invisible, and even his solo sexual functioning had waned to a point of great concern.

If you are in a relationship, here’s a little tip to prepare for the big V.D. celebration of love, passion and romance. Even if you’re not tied at the hip to a Significant Other at this time in your life, try to give yourself life’s little pleasures with a fun twist. Okay, hearts and flowers and chocolates? Sure, they’re always great. But how about a little “Love Coupon Book”?

We are going to focus on a process which I often recommend for couples, which I term the “CNAC Solution.” What’s that?
C for Communicate,
N for Negotiate,
A for agreement, and
C for compromise.

As you prepare for Thanksgiving, here is a super process to do with your sweetheart. Write on an index card or sheet of paper (better yet you can splurge and buy a Hallmark type card) three things for which you want to express thanks or gratitude to your partner. For example, you may write:

“Darling, thank you for being in my life. I am thankful for these things:
1) Your loyalty to me and our family;
2) Your sexy body;
3) How you touch me and make me soar;
4) What a great dad you are to our kids;
5) Your smile when I wake up next to you;
6) Our remarkable love we share…”

It’s that time, again, for love, romance, hearts and chocolates. You do know, right, that chocolate really IS an aphrodisiac, complete with brain chemicals (PEA) that stimulate that “I love you” sensation? Well here are five sure-fire ways to say “Be My Valentine” this year:

If your partner cheats on you, get to the root of the problem before you pack your bags and book a flight to Somewhere, USA. It’s not always D-day (divorce), but it could be a serious wake-up call to do something about it.

Inspired by preparing for “The Other Half” show, here are ten reasons why men cheat and what it means for his partner:

1. He has a drinking problem. Get him into AA or other help before you give up.

If you are in the market for a professional to help you with your sexual problems or concerns, here are some guidelines to let you know how to go about that selection process.

1. If you have a sex problem make sure that the therapist/counselor or sex educator (let’s stay with therapist for brevity sake) has specialized education and training in sexual function and dysfunction. Ask.

Note: You can download another slightly modified version of this process under “Tools” here on our website, “Processing Your Emotions”.

When a client comes to me for Sex Coaching and they are experiencing “stuck” feelings in a primary (or other) relationship or situation, I often coach them to buy a copy of John Gray’s landmark book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, and to use the “Love Letter” process for clearing emotions.